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“Is it the Truth?”

Writer's picture: Linda LovinLinda Lovin

woman thinking

Tell the truth. This is a simple basic tenet that we learn as children. But, as we progress through life, how do we learn to be truthful with ourselves? At what point does “that voice” in all of our heads become our truth? You know, that limiting voice that says we are not: smart enough, experienced enough, good enough, thin enough, ____ enough, etc etc etc. 


We all have “that voice” in our heads that offers limiting thoughts. Thoughts that perhaps make us feel safe but that keep us from being all we can be. And because it’s a voice in our head, we tend to accept it as the truth. 

So how can we filter through the noise of “that voice” that is often labeled Self-Doubt, the Judge, the Inner Critic, the Saboteur, the Gremlin? 


One of the tools is the powerful question: “Is it the truth?”


Here’s how a short portion of a coaching session with me might play out. Feel free to insert your particular situation into this fictional scenario:


Client: “My manager asked me to take on more responsibility at work which will lead to an opportunity for promotion in the future. But … I know that I’m new to this company and I don’t think I will be seen as experienced enough … so I probably should wait until I’ve earned more respect.”


Coach: Let’s break this down and make sure I’m hearing you correctly.  I’m hearing you say that you have been offered a new opportunity at work. Is this the truth?


Client: That’s right.


Coach: I’m hearing that your manager thinks that you have the skills now that will allow you to grow into a leadership position. Is that the truth?


Client: I guess so. I don’t think she’s setting me up for failure.


Coach: You are new to the company? Is that the truth?


Client: Yes.


Coach: You also say you are not experienced enough to add more responsibility to your job. Is that the truth?


Client: Well, actually no. It’s not the truth. I had a lot of experience in my prior job - just not at this current position. I was actually quite successful in my old role.


Coach: So you do have experience that you could bring to the table in your current employment?


Client: Yes.


Coach: Then is it true that you are not experienced enough?


Client: No.


Coach: Is it true that you need to wait to accept this offer until you think you have the respect of others?

 

Client: I guess I already have the respect of my manager. I’m assuming that I don’t have the respect of others - but I really don’t know. Maybe it’s just that voice in my head that is making assumptions.


Coach: So, what is the truth?


Client: I’ve been given an opportunity to share my experience, grow in the job and prepare for a possible promotion. 


Coach: In an earlier session, you said that you value a growth mindset. Will accepting this opportunity honor that value?


Client: Absolutely. I’m actually getting excited about the possibilities.


Coach: What would it be like to thank that voice in your head for allowing you the opportunity to analyze this situation from the perspective of the truth?


See, “that voice” (or whatever you choose to call it) serves a purpose. Maybe sometimes it’s  telling you the truth - or some aspect of the truth. Maybe it’s telling you to slow down, pause and analyze the situation from different perspectives. However, it may be trying to keep you safe and not allowing you to grow into your full potential. Maybe it’s just waiting for you to thank it for being there and to remind it that you are in control… that this transition is going to be beneficial to creating the fulfilling life you want to build. 


With practice and an understanding of the tools/skills needed to befriend it, “that voice” can serve you. Next time you hear it, ask yourself the powerful questions: “Is it the truth?” “Is this thought serving me, my values, and the fulfilling life I want to create?” 


Have questions/thoughts? I’d enjoy talking with you! And that’s the truth!


In Your Corner,


Linda

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