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Being Curious Instead of Judgmental

Writer's picture: Linda LovinLinda Lovin

Updated: Oct 2, 2024


Being Curious Instead of Judgmental

This winter, I’m going to re-watch a TV series - which is a big deal to me, because I rarely re-watch or re-read anything. But it’s time. Time to re-watch Ted Lasso.


Why? There are so many pearls of wisdom in this show!


For example, I find myself frequently coaching on a quote that has been attributed to Ted:


“Be curious, not judgmental.”

I love this quote. Many of my clients want to work on relationship skills, communication skills, leadership skills and often we talk about the simple phrase, “I’m curious.” I have personally found that it’s impossible to be authentically curious while being judgmental. 


A curious mindset doesn’t make assumptions. A curious mindset listens differently. A curious mindset responds with “I’m hearing you say….,” waits for confirmation/clarification, pauses and then agrees to continue the conversation once curious reflection has taken place. 


The art of listening with curiosity is a powerful tool - useful in any relationship. My sister once said, “You didn’t say that well, but I hear your heart.” 


If we listen with curiosity rather than judgment, understanding of the heart becomes possible.


The following are some more of my favorite Ted quotes that can help us be curious rather than judgmental. They are in no particular order and I could write a blog on each. As I hear them spoken again from my TV screen this winter, I will be thankful for the wisdom of this show. 


"You say impossible, but all I hear is 'I'm possible.'"  


“I do love a locker room. It smells like potential.”


“As the man once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.”


“If you care about someone, and you got a little love in your heart, there ain’t nothing you can’t get through together.”


"Believe."


“Every day is a chance to be better than we were the day before.”


"Living in the moment, it's a gift. That's why they call it the present."


"I think things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one."


“Most of the time change is a good thing and I think that’s what it’s all about - embracing change, being brave, doing whatever you have to so everyone in your life can move forward with theirs.”


“Just listen to your gut, and on the way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they’ll let you know what’s what.”


With curiosity, 

Linda


Have questions/thoughts? I’d enjoy talking with you!

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