
One of the foundational lessons from my legal training was this: never assume—always confirm facts. How? By simply asking. Asking the witness what happened. Asking for clarity when something felt unclear. Asking to validate an opinion or insight. Every verdict I sought was grounded in facts, not guesses or assumptions.
In our daily lives, though, we often skip this step. How much energy and heartache is spent thinking we know how someone else feels, thinks, or would act? How often do we make assumptions, only to find out later that we misunderstood entirely? Wouldn’t it be simpler, kinder, and more effective to just ask?
Of course, knowing how to ask can sometimes feel daunting.
Here are some approaches I use both personally and in my coaching practice:
“I’m curious…”
“I wonder…”
“Would you help me understand…”
These phrases invite connection and show genuine interest in the other person’s perspective.
“I’m hearing you say… Is that right?” creates a space for clarification, helping to avoid misinterpreting someone’s words.
“And what else?” encourages deeper exploration, signaling that you’re willing to go beyond surface-level responses.
“Thank you for sharing. I want to reflect on this and get back to you. When would be a good time to continue this conversation?” shows respect for the other person’s input while allowing time for thoughtful responses.
In 2025, can we resolve to ask instead of assume? And if asking feels too hard in the moment, can we at least assume that the other person is doing their best with the resources and circumstances they have? This perspective extends grace to ourselves and others, fostering a safe, non-judgmental environment for communication, vulnerability, and growth.
As a mental health and leadership coach, I work with clients to build these communication skills. Together, we navigate emotional challenges, address unhelpful thinking patterns, and strengthen relationship dynamics. These tools not only reduce stress and anxiety but also create a foundation for meaningful connections.
Remember:
"Asking for help isn’t giving up; it’s refusing to give up." — Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
If communication or relationship skills are areas you’d like to grow in, I’d love to support you.
Let’s connect and explore how coaching can make a difference for you.
In your corner,
Linda